Rise

staring at the ceiling 

waiting for substances to kick in

waiting for the numbness 

waiting for darkness 

to take away the unknown feeling 

Soliloquy

I put on the music
       that reminds me of you

I set up the table
       with me across you

I lit up a cigarette
       inhaling the scent of you

A sip of whiskey
       for every thought of you

Fumble on my sheets
       dreaming of you

The break of dawn
       yearning for you

Conversations over coffee
       with me and my thoughts

For it ceased to exist, me and you

Fingers intertwined 

Palms pressed into a thin line 

Not for show

But for something more

To anchor me

That you’re real and mine

Anonymous: hello. you may not know me but ive been following your blog for quite some time now. since 2012 to be exact. just wanted to point out how much youve changed. not in a bad way but in a sadder way. :( i remember how funner you were posting text posts with gifs, posting pics of how your day went, and doing lookbook and everything. now you post a lot of sad black and white pics. what happened? hope you publish this.

Hey there! Before anything else, I would like to thank you. I didn’t know anyone would actually keep track of my blog! Let alone care. Haha! So thank you. 

Change is inevitable. NAKS. But seriously though, this actually got me thinking. I’m sorry I haven’t been posting “fun” stuff recently and that’s just because I’ve had this whole new perspective on photography that changed my way of blogging as well. Before, I used to take photos of things as they are. Such as, like what you said, how my day went so I’ll be blogging about my outfit of the day or what I just ate or where I am at. But now, I’ve realized that I can express emotions through my photos as well, that I can instill a true living story in each and every shot. Whether it be a conceptualized photo or a street photo, there’s still a narrative behind it. Thus, if my photos are instilled with my emotions, and since my blog consists of my photos, my blog reflects my emotions. 

Don’t get me wrong, I still am that fun person. It’s just that I’ve been pouring a lot of sadness into photos recently because it’s the only place where I can put them. So, in a way, my blog goes deeper emotionally (for me) than what you could physically see. 

Sorry for the feels. 

Happy New Year! 

Familiarity

I’ve made a habit

of watching people

alone: this pair 

sharing a table, drinking

coffee. They talk (now

and then) behind news-spreads.

His legs are crossed, reading 

glasses on the tip of his nose,

eyes almost closed. 

She holds the paper, covering

her face. She wears 

a watch she doesn’t check. 

Ceramics clink.

They sip once

in a while, together.

How nice

it must be. 

- Christel Kimberly Cantillas 

you have tainted me
with your kaleidoscope love
null but a palette 

you have tainted me

with your kaleidoscope love

null but a palette 

A song plays on the radio

that reminds me of you

a song that talks about true love

but is your love for me true too?

The birds soar across the sky

that reminds me of you

a bird is as free as the infinite sky

but is your love as infinite too?

Plastic roses sit behind a glass window

that reminds me of you

formed to have undying beauty

but is your love as undying too?

How I wish an innocent child

could remind me of you

a child who wouldn’t dare tell a lie

but you’ve already lied to me too. 

Happy Birthday Sis! 
I made you a quick caricature using a felt tip pen. A felt tip pen.
Remember when we were young and I used to go to your room a lot? I would draw random stuff with your felt tip pens and you would get mad at me for wasting the ink. Then my birthday came and you gave me my own set of felt tip pens. Your first birthday gift to me. Looking back, you didn’t merely give me a set of disposable pens. You encouraged me to do what I loved. 
So with that cheesy intro being said, I would like to express my sincerest appreciation. Thank you for being someone I can talk to, laugh with, confide in, and most importantly… someone who can drive me around town. I’m kidding! But seriously, thank you for being such a great sister. 
Wherever you are, I hope you’re kicking ass and blinding everyone with your awesomeness! Wishing you a happy happy happy birthday! Take care! God bless! Hope to see ya soon! We miss you! Love ya! 

Happy Birthday Sis! 

I made you a quick caricature using a felt tip pen. A felt tip pen.

Remember when we were young and I used to go to your room a lot? I would draw random stuff with your felt tip pens and you would get mad at me for wasting the ink. Then my birthday came and you gave me my own set of felt tip pens. Your first birthday gift to me. Looking back, you didn’t merely give me a set of disposable pens. You encouraged me to do what I loved. 

So with that cheesy intro being said, I would like to express my sincerest appreciation. Thank you for being someone I can talk to, laugh with, confide in, and most importantly… someone who can drive me around town. I’m kidding! But seriously, thank you for being such a great sister. 

Wherever you are, I hope you’re kicking ass and blinding everyone with your awesomeness! Wishing you a happy happy happy birthday! Take care! God bless! Hope to see ya soon! We miss you! Love ya! 

Anonymous: how did you lose so much weight?!?!?!? whats your secret :(

I guess you follow me on twitter? I started dieting when I was in second year. I follow the “Eat like a king on breakfast, a prince on lunch, and a slave on dinner” saying and I don’t eat much meat (especially pork) and rice. Then I got really obsessed and somewhat became bulimic. AND I DO NOT ADVICE YOU TO DO THAT PLEASE IT IS TOTALLY NOT WORTH IT I MADE A HUGE MISTAKE AND NOBODY SHOULD TREAT THEIR BODY THAT WAY. And after I got sick, I stopped dieting. But for some reason, my body kept on getting thinner. Maybe I got used to eating less? Not sure. And I often do indoor exercises (such as hip hop abs lol) and weights if I have spare time. AAAND I got really tall, like from 5”4 to 6”0 in a span of 2 years. So that’s probably another factor why I got thinner. BUT PLEASE, do not ever treat your body badly just because you want to get thinner. Love your body, everyone is unique in their own way. :)

yep. Awkward fans will know.

yep. Awkward fans will know.

at a fitting room...
  • Me: it fits me perfectly!
  • Friend: yeah, it does. what if you get fatter?
  • Me: ...
  • Friend: ...
  • Me: I will not allow myself to get fatter.

I like taking a shower whilst listening to Lana Del Rey.

coz it makes everything seem sexy. 

  • ME: Oh yes, I definitely want to engage in social gatherings/events/activities.
  • BRAIN: *turns social awkwardness on*

FOOD NIGHT!

will be posting food posts tonight that will surely make your mouth water. :P 

NASA Space Center

So I was so blessed to be able to go to the NASA Space Center in Houston, Texas! 

It was filled with really awesome stuff… 

and huge spaceships… were meant to flyyyy… hands up and touch the sky! LOL sorry… I can’t help it. (I knooow I know… it should be Starships.)

and here are the engines of the Apollo spaceship! 

so here’s a photo with me in it so you could see how huge it is (taken by my mom) … 

So yeah.. and many more. :)) 

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